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We present to you, the latest in PC security. The Advance 3000 Extreme Machine is the safest possible computing experience. Your computer is kept in an undisclosed, secret location. Each PC is keps in a room with no door to prevent any form of data theft! For added network security, your PC is kept unplugged at all times. That's right! It's impossible to steal your personal data from the new Advance 3000 Extreme Machine! We guarantee that no hacker will ever steam your data gain. We can be 100% b/c each Advance 3000 Extreme Machine is tested daily to ensure that it's not on the internet! Due to our multi-layer security and complete lack of power, your PC will be impervious to dangers like hacking and power surges! You may be asking yourself: "Self, how the f*ck do I use a computer that's kept someplace I can't access that isn't powered on?" Well, let me tell you... You just pay 12 easy payments of $99.99 and we give you access to our toll free hotline. On the other end of that line, we've got psychics who are ready to answer any question you may have for your Advance 3000 Extreme Machine. These PC psychics can tell you any number of things about your computer: - Is your Advance 3000 Extreme Machine happy?
- Has your Advance 3000 Extreme Machine found purpose?
- Does your Advance 3000 Extreme Machine believe in a free market economy?
- Your personal psychic can answer these questions and more!
What are you waiting for? Ger your Advance 3000 Extreme Machine today! Here's how to order...
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